It's all I've got left! My 2nd kid is to be born anytime between here and then.  By kid, obviously I mean baby goat! The chaos my first leaves in her wake is apocalyptic. I can tidy up a chair and turn to tidy and neaten another, just as I greet my sofas in admiration of declutterness, mini me has taken it upon herself to refill what I was apparently clearing for her! It's my fault though. Generosity in my family is rife and toys, art supplies, books, games are thrust in abundance at unsuspecting children, grown or otherwise! I don't mind throwing stuff out or giving stuff away; my wife on the other hand, likes things.  If she's bought it or received it, I believe she thinks it should have a home. Our home! That may be ok for people of affluent means and homes like museums. I happen to own an increasingly condensing corridor of clutter! Me, I'd live in my pants. A telly/PlayStation podium in the centre of the room next to a very comfy couch (Not too soft though!).  No wires in sight; all cabling would be hidden under the floors and in the walls.  A leafy pot plant for all my oxygen needs.  A perfectly placed table just big enough to fit a drink with some device for holding snacks (I love an invention). This refreshment station must be optimal for arm length,  unflinching under the mightiest of gaming spasms and incapable of holding other people's shit.  It's not that I'm not a sharer, but tables are the worst in my house.  You can look at a pile of papers on any surface, blink and that pile will have doubled or tripled in size instantly!  I could be the only one in and still this happens.  I have a papergeist! This is wishful thinking as I think everyone should have their own room that they look after and then congregate in one uber-relaxing, games room with cinema tv for a weekend family movie.  A place with fish as a focal point;  light and airy with small indoor plants . I've never been a plants person. My parents are; i could never see the draw.  We turn into parental resemblances though,  so from an early age I have always wondered when this horticultural instinct would bed in? Having suffered with chronic hayfever since the summers of school, plants and I, up until recently, didn't see eye to eye. I gave up dairy.  It's easy, apart from halloumi and mozzarella.  I...i just can't.  Milk, butter? Don't touch it! Why? My sister studied nutrition at college and read that dairy can restrict the sinuses.  I've been sans cheese now for 3 years and can attest to this theory. I'm not a diet nut but like to have a semi grasp on what is entering my body. (I'm very tired and the morning playlist is sending me off. Not something you really want on the way home.  I snore really loud! Rich Mayor of Captain Trips has just sung me one of his acoustic numbers. The CD it comes from is called Decade and to prove it's worth, Rich won the opportunity to perform one of his songs onstage with Joey Cape in Bristol.  It really is that good.  Check it out) since chopping the ched my sinus system's health has been an interesting development. Formerly,   early summer was a massive bummer. The amount of times i tried to pull my eyes from my head, uncountable! Tablets, sprays, tissues, drops, you name it,  I've had it.  The dairy drop is the thing. The first year I didn't expect anything, so continued with my best combo of spray and drops. Discovered that I was probably lactose intolerant all along,  pah! Cut a long boring story short, last year my hayfever was pretty much gone.  Barring the odd sneeze and weird sensation in a head cavity somewhere. Gone.  This year will be the teller.  I'm hoping for zero symptoms.  If the winter carries on like this I'm certain to be hayfreever (mental I just slapped my forehead for that wordplay. I'm so sorry). So,  I could probably be a dad (still/ again) by the next time I write.  I best go and get some sleep in preparation eh? 



Umlaut Records

Punk Rock record label and all round good guys