Why do it? Kid taken care of,  friends are about,  deserve a night off = curry night. Sweet.  Nope,  spicy as fuck! I'm suffering.  This train journey could be my undoing.  I can feel it... lurking.  The swelling and sloshing in my stomach seems to gurgle "bog roooooll!".

So, fashion.  I'm sat next to someone who has clearly paid attention in America's next top model class.  She looks good.  I look... hmmm. Passable. And it'll never change.  In the winter,  I'm clad in 1 of about 4 outfits.  These are no effort mix of Jeans + band t-shirt + burnt tapes jumper/random hoodie (If you know not about the burnt tapes, get in the know.    They sing super sexy songs with their super sexy looks. Raspy, raw melodies that rip your heart up.  You can pick up their vinyl and digital download from the umlaut store or if you like CD, head over to Lockjaw records and badger them for some sweet goods.) This happens to be what I'm wearing right now.  I have my Fu Manchu t-shirt on; I like to have favourite things and this is one.  Love the band,  love the tee. Come the slightest hint of summer though I strip as quickly as possible into over-the-knee shorts + band t-shirt.  Cool? yeah! Especially when it hasn't quite turned spring yet! I was out the other day with shorts,  band t-shirt and big winter coat on. Hey,  if Burnt/Dank Tone can do it! It was sunny so don't judge too hard. One thing that stays the same through my dressing routine is my shoes.  I used to get shin splints while playing footie and then after that I'd get what can only be described as morning bus stop heel! Every morning,  "Ooooooouch! What the..." whispered under my breath for the sake of my sleeping sidekick.  Think multiple bits of glass sticking into your heel at 5 am. Not fun! It would last about 10 - 20 seconds and then like nothing had ever happened I could go about my day.  I started running in preparation of looking overly passable for a soon to be wifekick! It was actually the only way to get into work on time on a Sunday at that point (Also to avoid a lift from the most annoying man the world has ever known. Jeez he was a pleb!). My dad was a runner; London marathons, new York marathon,  half marathons,  he even cycled round Nepal! So who better to ask about running than him? He said read a book about the Tarahumarans; a tribe of Colombian running people who live in the steepest ravines, if memory serves me well. They can run 400 miles no biggy and guess what they wear? Flip flops! That's right,  they cut up tyres and tie them to their feet. If you search barefoot running shoes, they are available from a few ultra modern yet authentic Kickstarter campaign hipster (and other new world buzz words to boot)  online shoe shops for an inexplicable amount money.  For a bit of tyre and string.  Upwards of 50 notes. For a bit of tyre and string!  Obviously,  the companies boast ergonomics and million year old science to quantify their business model. I was tempted until I found Merrell shoes. I had already owned a pair of the comfiest walking shoes known to man but this time it was different.  Life changing.  I researched this 'barefoot running' thang that the internet was getting interested in.  Not interested in enough to be overly helpful, but enough.  I looked at gait and how to run efficiently with least resistance.  All this research lead me to purchase a pair of gloves! Apparently,  shoes can now be gloves too! Must be a literal meaning or something? These shoes though! Like a hardy pair of socks with slight cushion under the ball of your foot, and plenty of room for "toe splay". All I can say is that ever since my legs haven't been the same.  I enjoyed the running so much and the ethos that as humans we shouldn't really be walking on (Dan Adriano just came on. I listen to his songs with my groin.  He really does do something to me.  I yearn to thrust myself at his song voice! Gross but necessary.) squishy heels to mask the problems caused by walking on squishy heels! I wasn't born with Nike air max on so why would I require a heel-to-toe differential? I took this to the next stage and now cannot and will not go back.  My calves look and feel as strong as a cheetahs (unfortunately,  minus the awesome spotty fur). One major setback; when merrell decides to stop manufacturing my all-time favourite shoe,  what is a boy to do? You see,  being a specialist shoe,  this means that any manufacturer of barefoot footwear can charge the earth and more for less material than the toe of an Ugg boot. I found one shop though.  £60 barefoot shoes.  XERO SHOES! Cool? Nah.  The flatest most painful shoes ever.  I developed a knee problem which sucked a big one if anyone did so much as look at it.  I begged Merrell to bring them back. "Bring back my precious shoes" i cryped (a combination of crying and typed. I just coined it. It happens often I'm sure!). And that they eventually did. Forevermore I shall be happy... until the next time! Don't get any ideas merrell!

I'm now listening to Billy Bragg - Back to Basics.  Cracking album of just a man, a microphone and an electric guitar.  The songs are perfect.  It contains one of my all-time favourite songs (definitely top 5), which is the Saturday boy.  Check it.  A newer favourite has lovingly oozed into my ears. It's called cupcake by Zach Quinn from PEARS.  The man does punk so well that it took me aback to hear his One Week Record so mellow and groovy.  If you haven't seen/heard Lagwagon frontie Joey Cape's newish record label,  make sure you do so soon. Full to the brim of great acoustic albums. I think i get 1 every couple of months for a piddly yearly subscription. Chris Cresswell of the Flatliners album entered straight into my top 20 albums. Do it.  You won't regret it. 

I'm going now



Umlaut Records

Punk Rock record label and all round good guys